


Talk about awkward talks

by bistiles (alis)



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Drag Queens, M/M, Oblivious Derek, the jungle comes to the Hale loft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-08
Updated: 2014-08-09
Packaged: 2018-02-07 23:32:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1918254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alis/pseuds/bistiles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt 4: Stiles’s drag friends have a little chat with Derek about being nice to their friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Oh my, he is just as hot as he is emotionally inept.”

Derek didn’t know what was happening. For one thing, he didn’t understand at all why there’s a number of drag queens in different degrees of dressing up – or down, he wasn’t sure – in his living room. For another, he had absolutely no idea why they are talking about his emotions capabilities or lack thereof. He was sitting down on his couch trying hard as he could to understand how that sort of thing happened to him. He stared at one of the drag queens, the one that said he was “emotionally inept”. She was dressed in one scandalous sparkly bandage dress with a tail so long it was being currently held in the hands of said drag queen, while she bounced slightly, staring at Derek as if he was something to be pitied. He didn’t enjoy it, not at all, and he snarled rather wolfishly at the Sparkly Dress, that promptly ignored him.

“Jesus boy, were you raised by wolves?” Ha ha, the joke never got old, ha ha – except it did, it so damn did. “I mean, can’t you see what you’re doing to our baby doe?”

Derek frowned, or more accurately, frowned further, since by now he had a permanent scowl etched in his features. Especially when there was a drag queen that should be just as tall as he was patting his shoulder rather condescendingly, her purple feather boa tickling his nose unpleasantly. He threw her his best I-am-going-to-murder-you glower, but apparently, all the layers of clothes and makeup made her completely immune to his glower.

“Oh please big boy, do try harder, that was sad.” She sad, clucking her tongue, getting a round of laughs from the other drags in the room. Derek was confused, so confused he was considering wolfing out and sending them all scattering and running when another drag, this one using a rather offending high blonde wig that reeked of hairspray meddled in.

“I don’t know you, girls, but this guy is trouble he is so causing our baby a heartbreak, I mean, the guy can’t even talk.”

Blinking, Derek growled low. Which apparently proved Wig’s point, because she made a flourished gesture in his direction and pursed her red-glossed lips.

“What the hell are you talking about? What baby doe?” He asked, because really there was only so much nonsense Derek could put up with before snapping.

There was a collective sound of snorts and derisive groans around his living room.

“Stiles, you slow thing! Cutie beanpole, baby doe eyes and most perfect cupid’s bow?” Said purple boa, hitting Derek in the back of the head with her accessory. Derek looked at her incredulously, earning nothing back bot a perfectly designed eyebrow up.  
“Rings any bells?”

Under his breath, Derek muttered that it rang all the damn bells. It was obvious; he should had seen this one coming. Who else in the damned pack knew a bunch of drag queens that were bold and entitled enough to invade his apartment and talk to him like that? He shouldn’t even be surprised and, to be honest, he wasn’t.

“What about him?” Derek asked, more like growled, not that it made any difference for the drag queens around him. He was almost developing some respect for them, because they were unfazed by Derek’s scowls and growls and that didn’t happen often.

In fact, the only other person that was painfully unaffected by any and all intimidation tactic by Derek was Stiles.

Sparkly Dress sat rather pompously on the already crowded couch. Now he was surrounded by Sparkly Dress, Wig and Purple Boa and there was more two sitting in front of him that he mentally came to call as Pink Shorts and Fishnets and really, since when did  
Derek attribute weird nicknames to people?

Since Stiles. Obviously. Always always all that was wrong and weird in his life came from Stiles, seriously why did he even put up with the guy?

“Oh don’t play coy.” Sparkly Dress scoffed, sniffing indignantly. Derek realized she had terrifyingly long nails. And the fact Derek found those red weapons terrifying meant something because damn he had claws. “We know you want to be all over our baby doe.”  
Derek blinked. How the fuck they knew that? He wasn’t even sure he had really admitted it to himself, never mind to a bunch of people he saw once or twice in his life while accompanying Stiles to the Jungle. Okay. Not accompanying. More like stalking from a safe distance, making sure the kid would be all right in a place like that. It wasn’t like Derek really cared, but Stiles was pack and even if he wasn’t, he knew the kid and he didn’t want him to fall prey of some sexual predator. It had nothing to do with the ugly feeling in his chest when some random buff thought they could touch Stiles and draw him close while dancing, it had nothing to do with the growl that threatened to spill from his clenched teeth that one time he saw Stiles kiss a random kid on the bar. No,  
Derek was just caring for the pack, caring for them all because he was older and those teenagers were nothing but trouble.

And if Stiles was maybe a little bit attractive, if his graceless form made Derek’s eyes linger, well. He couldn’t be blamed. Stiles was slowly becoming a handsome young adult and Derek knew it wasn’t only him to see it. He knew it from the looks Stiles would get, looks the kid was so painfully unaware of. It wasn’t Derek particularly, no, it was Stiles, it was maybe universal, as much as it pained him to think like that. But the truth, the real truth, deep down and very well hidden even from Derek himself, was that he cared for Stiles in ways he didn’t care for any other pack-mate. He cared for his wellbeing, he cared for his happiness and Derek honestly didn’t know what to make of it.

Apparently, Stiles’ drag friends knew though.

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business.” He growled, trying to stand up, ready to throw them all out. But Wig put a hand on his shoulder –a surprisingly strong hand – and pushed him back on the couch. Derek could easily have fought it off, but he was too surprised at being manhandled by a drag queen wearing a blond wig and glittery make up to do react.

“Oh chill! You’re like a wild dog, for god’s sake.” Wig rolled her eyes. “Look, it is our business because we like Stiles. He’s a nice kid, a bit too much at times, sure, but he has his heart in the right place.”

There was a chorus of assenting and some comments about Stiles’ character. Derek didn’t have to hear about Stiles being a good guy. He knew it. He was well aware of all of Stiles good points, his selflessness, his loyalty, his courage in face of danger. Even his kindness, at times hidden under thick layers of sarcasm and sass, but it was always there. What other person in the world would give Derek half a chance? Even Scott – and god knew that Scott was probably made of rainbows and marshmallows, Derek had never ever met someone so optimistic, and inherently good in his life, – wouldn’t go as far as Stiles.

Could he even be blamed? Did he ever even stood a chance against Stiles?

 

“We are very fond of our little giraffe. So we’re here to have a nice little chat with you about how to treat our baby right.” Sparkly Dress said and Derek stared. Hard. Didn’t cause any effect.

“Nice little chat.” Derek repeated, so outraged he couldn’t even muster the indignation to say anything else.

“Yes. Because you know we actually pay attention, big boy.” Wig said slowly, like Derek was a little bit of an idiot. He supposed he would be giving off that vibe, since his mouth had slacked in a shocked “o”.

“And we noticed that Stiles was so head over heels for you, really.” Purple Boa added, twirling the end of her feathered boa. “Ah, teenage love, always so powerful.”

What?

“Also I’m pretty sure my dog is better at expression affection than you are.” Wig piped up.

“We just don’t want to see baby doe with a heartbreak. He’s a nice kid and he’s really into you.” Sparkly dress finished, patting Derek’s cheek. He couldn’t even muster the presence of mind to swat it away.

Derek was pretty sure he would never ever be able to school his features back to anything but incredulous shock.

“Stiles is into me.” He muttered, his voice tragically high. Not much, not as much as Stiles’ voice when he was scared shitless, but still high enough to make the drag queens around him wear this soft look in their eyes, like Derek was so naïve.  
“Oh my, he didn’t know!” Another drag that hadn’t spoken yet, exclaimed, long-nailed fingers against her glossed lips. Derek just stared, unable to process it.

“Like, ‘he is the one’ into you.” Sparkly said very kindly.

Of all the things in his life, Derek never imagined that he would be wakened up to his own feelings and someone else’s feelings by a group of well-intentioned drag queens. But then again, Derek never imagined many things in his life. He never thought he would lose his family. He never thought he would find it again in a bunch of raucous teenagers. He never thought love would hurt time and time again. He never thought he would love again.

He never thought he would love Stiles.

He took a noisy breath, shaken to the core. He really did like Stiles. Not only sexually, not only was as a friend, as a pack-mate, but as the boy that saved him on a pool, as the boy that faced dangers with a sharp-tongue and a fast mind even when terrified. In a way he honestly didn’t think he was even capable still.

“I think he didn’t even know about himself.” Purple Boa mused, looking at Derek as If he was precious. He wanted to snarl, but he didn’t have the energy.

“Oh goodness.” Wig clicked her tongue, looking exasperated. “You’ve how dumb are boys these days. You think we never noticed how you go around following the boy? How could you not realize how you look at him as if he was precious? We saw, you know? Every time you were around the Jungle, we noticed. At first we thought you were dangerous, but then we realized it was not the case.” She shrugged unapologetically.

Sparkly nodded. “We realized you were the hot grumpy friend Stiles is always chattering away about. We just never understood why you were never there together. And then it downed on us.”

“And we decided to come here tell you to treat our baby right. But…” Sparkly smiled, a real smile, not a mocking one. “I think it’ll be okay, won’t it, girls?”

They all assented and, those who were sitting, stood up and a stream of drag queens gathered around Derek, patting him and hugging, cooing and giving general advice that, before leaving. Derek didn’t know how he stood that, especially when one of the drags told him sex tips and another actually felt up his abs. Eventually though it stopped, not soon enough on Derek’s books, but all the drag queens had left his apartment but one.

Wig looked at Derek for a moment or two, assessing him as if he was a weird puzzle she couldn’t quite decipher.

“I was going to tell you to no fuck the boy up.” She said, not unkindly. “But I’ve a feeling that you know better than anyone how important it is that you don’t.” Wig paused, again, fluffily her hair. She turned to leave and threw Derek a disarming smile, all teeth and edge, but not exactly unfriendly. “Important to you, that is.”

She left the apartment and in the silence of his living room, Derek wondered when he became that transparent.

-x-

Derek was once again at the Jungle, squinting slightly under the blinking lights and annoying loud music. Stiles was there as well, sitting on a table, legs dangling over the edge while he talks a mile per hour to a guy. It looked friendly enough, they were not touching and there was a respectable distance between them, but something ugly still twists and turns on the pit of Derek’s stomach. Jealousy, he recognizes, not as startled by the idea, as he would once be.

He had two weeks to think about it, steam over it, sleep on the idea that yes, he wanted Stiles. At first it was hard, tried his hand at ignoring the matter, but every time Derek saw Stiles, he could barely control his feelings. And he knew he had it bad and, at some point, Derek realized that Stiles really had it just as bad. Now that he was aware, he could see the boy’s interest, could almost taste it at the tip of his tongue.

He moves around, not really going closer, eyes still trained on Stiles. He had his head tipped back, letting out a full boy laugh, shaking slightly, hands, as always, moving. He hadn’t been able to see before, but he could now see that Sparkly Dress is sitting with them, lips glowing bright green under the dark lights. She spotted Derek in the crowd, smiling knowingly and with a nod and a wink, she stood, dragging the guy with him. Stiles looked confused for a moment at the sudden interruption and glanced at his direction as well, eyebrows raising in surprise.

“Derek?” Stiles asked, once Derek was close enough from the table. He didn’t scream Derek’s name, he didn’t need to, not when they both know that Derek could hear him perfectly. The music was loud, so very loud, but Derek could hear Stiles and he realized he really liked the way Stiles said his name, with surprise and a bit of undisguised happiness. He wondered how his name would sound like if Stiles said it under him, if it would betray his feelings just like in that moment.

He stopped when he was close enough to touch, Stiles still looking at Derek as if he couldn’t quite believe he was there or figure out why. Derek thought about saying something, the right words to convey all that they both wanted, but Derek was never all that good with words anyway. So he just put a hand at Stiles neck, close to his pulse point and stared.

Somehow his wishes seems, because the next thing Derek knew was that they are moving toward each other, lips touching rather unexpectedly. They kissed and kissed, hands touching, lips claiming, and when they finally came up for air, Derek was comfortably standing between Stiles’ legs, fitting so perfectly there, that he couldn’t help groaning.

“You like me.” Stiles said a bit dazed. Derek snorted, because well, yeah. You didn’t kiss someone you hate. Or at least Derek tried not to. 

“I never thought- When- Screw that.” Smiling ruefully, Stiles hoped off the table, body flushed against Derek. They both shivered, though Derek would always deny it. “You wanna dance?”

Derek wasn’t even surprised with himself that he actually agreed to.

-x-

Again Derek was confused. He won’t ever understand how a bunch of drag queens kept finding their way inside his apartment. He briefly imagined if there’s some magic involved, but he knew better than that. He opened the door, he stepped aside to let them in, why is he even wondering anyway?

This time though, when they all came into his apartment, he received hugs and kisses and even though Derek pretty much stood there too shocked for properly react, he couldn’t say he wasn’t mildly amused if not pleased.

“So it seems our Grumpy Abs finally worked out the courage to go after our baby doe!” Sparkly said, pretending to dry an imaginary tear. Derek by now new that Sparkly actually went by the stage name of Cassandra, but he would always call her Sparkly Dress in his head. Even if today she was wearing a long black gown.

“Grumpy Abs?” Derek asked, raising an eyebrow. Cassandra cooed at him.

“See what I say? Also damn boy, but isn’t your eyebrow game sharp.”

“He only needed a little push.” Wig, or Christina, said. Such a small name for such a vibrant person. Today she went from blonde-haired to flaming red though.

“More like a huge shove.” Pink Boa commented. There was no boa today, just a scarf embroidered with blue sequins.

Derek snorted but said nothing, There was a round of idle comments about them, one that Derek didn’t really make part. They talked about that night in the Jungle when Derek first kissed Stiles. Apparently, they all had seen it and there was even bets going about when they would get together. He couldn’t even muster the energy for being offended.

“So, now that you two are together, I think we all should have another nice little chat about how to treat our baby right.” Cassandra commented airily and Derek rolled his eyes, trying to feign annoyance, but not really able to hide the tiny smile tugging the side of his mouth up.

It would be a long conversation, he could tell.


	2. Of when Derek (almost) becomes a drag sister

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> obsessedwithsmalldots @Tumblr prompted me "One of Stile's drag friends wants to put Derek in drag."
> 
> So I obliged.

Ever since Derek and Stiles started to date, the loft is always permanently inhabited by drag queens.

Derek didn’t have a problem with that, not really. He couldn’t really get angry at them when they were responsible for actually making Derek realize his feelings for Stiles. If nothing, for that alone, Derek would be inclined to put up with the astounding amount of make up on every surface of his loft or how there seems to always be glitter in the most improbable places. And he can’t help but notice that Stiles is terribly fond of those girls and, well, maybe Derek is a little bit as well.

The problem came when, one day, Sparkly Dress – or Cassandra – decided that Derek should do his eyebrows. He was chilling on his couch, tuning out Stiles chattering away with Sparkly Dress, when suddenly she was up in his personal space with tweezers in her hands. He sat up so fast he gave himself a whiplash and ran upstairs, taking refuge himself in his bedroom. He stayed there the entire afternoon, only coming out when he heard Cassandra leave.

After that one episode, it apparently became a thing among the drag queens to try and force Derek into weird beauty process. After the tweezers horror, Christina sat down by his side one day, only to ask him if he ever thought about maybe dying his hair a lighter color. He didn’t ever dignify an answer, not even when she launched in a ramble about colors and bringing out his skin color. She only stopped when Stiles, apparently taking pity of Derek’s suffering, offered to take her out for a coffee.

 

It only went worse from them. Pink Boa, or Valery, that was her stage name, once appeared at the loft armed with wax and said she fully intended to wax Derek’s chest. He looked so horrified he didn’t manage to move, not until Valery had him pinned against the kitchen’s counter top and was pulling his shirt off. He then moved and moved fast – too fast even, he was too horrified even to care about keeping his werewolfhood hidden. His chest hair was in danger. Stiles cackled so hard he pissed himself when Derek told him what happened later, when Valery was gone and his body hair safe. Derek locked Stiles out of the apartment for the weekend after that.

But the top indignity was still to come. Apparently, the drag queens decided that one united effort was necessary and gang up on them one afternoon.

“No.” Derek said, eyes wide. He looked at Stiles, who just shrugged malevolently. Traitor.

“Why not, Grumpy Abs?” Cassandra asked, throwing her long auburn hair over her shoulder. Her high heels were terrifyingly high and Derek didn’t even understand how one could stand on that, let alone walk and dance. “It’s just make up, it goes away with soap and scrubbing.”

“No.”

“But Derbear,” Christina pondered, tapping her longs nails against Derek’s arm. He scooted away. She scooted closer. “you would make such an astonishing queen.”

Derek just stared, while the other drag queens just agreed in different enthusiastic tones. In his corner, Stiles just snickered. Derek turned on him.

“This is your doing!” he growled, and Stiles startled, still smiling.

“What? No! Dude, no, this one is totally not on me.” Stiles said, hands up in surrender.

“Why I don’t believe you?”

“Your trust issues are not my problem, man.” Stiles said lightly. Derek glared hard and Stiles rolled his eyes. “Fine, I might be guilty of telling Cassie to do your eyebrows, but that was the only one.”

Cassandra made an soft agreement noise, patting Derek’s cheek.

“That just made me realize you would look fab as one of us.”

“You do have the ass to pull it.” Valery piped in, making Stiles give a full body laughter. Derek really wanted to jump his throat.

“No. I’m not putting make up on. Or dresses. No.”

“Aw naw, Der, we need to compromise here somehow.” Christina said, snapping her fingers impatiently.

“No.”

“We’re not leaving you alone until you do. And we’re not serving you a Mickey to achieve that.”

For some reason, Derek really didn’t doubt it.

“Why don’t you dress up Stiles?” Derek exclaimed, starting to feel desperate.

“Oh, they already did.” Stiles said calmly. Derek blinked.

“What.”

“They did. More than once, actually.” He shrugged unapologetically. “I don’t mind being a lady for the evening once in a while.”

To say Derek stared was an understatement. He was pretty sure he was getting cross-eyed while looking at Stiles. The boy gave him a predatory smile.

“Compromise, right? So, here’s my deal.” Stiles said. “You let them play doll with you.”

“And?” Derek asked, despite knowing he was digging his own grave there. Curiosity was stronger than him, especially when Stiles was licking his lips in that way.

Stiles walked towards Derek and climbed his lap. The drag queens screamed and clapped, making Derek blush against his will. Stiles looked completely unfazed, even when he leaned in closer, whispering low into Derek’s ear, so low only Derek heard.

“And Scott told me something about full moon, sex and knotting.” Stiles paused, fully aware that Derek’s heartbeat was going rampant. “You let them and I’ll let you.”

-x-x-x-x-x-

Two weeks later, full moon was high in the sky, when Derek rolled off Stiles, slipping out of him with a groan. He did what Stiles asked him to and let the drag queens dress him up. He put his foot down when it came to leaving the house dressed up, but it seemed enough for them. In return, Stiles did keep his part of the bargain, and let, to Derek utter surprise, do what he wanted.

“Thank you.” Derek muttered, caressing Stiles with reverence. He never thought he would be able of doing that, never even broached the topic with Stiles. Never would, probably.

“Dude…” Stiles said, stopping to gulp for air. He was still trembling slightly, a big grin on his lips. “I should be thanking you. And your dick. That was awesome.”

Derek lifted his eyebrows in surprise and Stiles leaned in, kissing him slowly. “I should probably tell you something though.”

He waited for Stiles to continue, only inclining his head sideways in acknowledgment to his words.

“I kinda tricked you, you know.” Stiles said, smirking slightly. “I was going to ask you to knot my ass even if you said no. There was no way I was missing this.”

Derek blinked a couple of times, before breaking into laughter. He wasn’t really surprised and he was not angry at all. He was, if nothing, relieved that Stiles seemed to accept that one part of him as well. “Well. It was fun. A little bit.” Derek admitted. It had been worth it, completely.

“Oh hell it was.” He stopped and grinned so evilly Derek shuddered, half from apprehension, half from arousal. “And with all the pictures and videos I took? I have blackmail material for the rest of your days, dude. Just saying.”

Derek stared in horror. He was taking it back. Sex wasn’t worth a life-time worth of blackmail material at all.


End file.
